Tuesday, July 6, 2010

False Expectations

It’s amazing to me how naïve we (I) can be at times, when it comes to our (my) expectations of God.

Truth be told we’re entitled to NOTHING, and yet we still believe that if we “do something for God,” He will do something for us … As if sending His Son to pay the penalty for our sin wasn’t enough!

Case in point: As I mentioned in my first blog, I’ve been living in a spiritual desert for the last 10 months. However, in reality, I actually started “taking matters into my own hands” (i.e. taking control of my own life!) about 5 years ago, and have been especially good -- or bad(!) -- at it over the last two years.

So now that I’m clear on the battle I’m fighting and have begun the reconciliation process with Him, today I found myself thinking: “I thought things would be different then they are!”

What I mean by that statement is that now that I’m trying very hard to let God run my life (instead of me trying to do it), I thought things would start to get easier; not harder. And yet, I’m continually finding the rug being pulled out from underneath my feet!

“I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? I am worn out from sobbing. Every night tears drench my bed; my pillow is wet from weeping.” (Psalm 6:3,6 NLT)

As I said earlier, while I know in my head that He literally owes me nothing, my heart hasn’t quite caught on to that fact, and instead I’m still finding myself in need of those sunglasses!

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