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Friday, September 24, 2010

I Will Trust You

It's really been a rough couple of days, and right now this song by Steven Curtis Chapman expresses exactly how I feel:

I Will Trust You

I don't even wanna breathe right now
All I wanna do is close my eyes
But I don't wanna open them again
Until I'm standing on the other side

I don't even wanna be right now
I don't wanna think another thought
And I don't wanna feel this pain I feel
And right now, pain is all I've got

It feels like it's all I've got, but I know it's not
No, I know You're all I've got
And I will trust You, I'll trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand, even then I will say again
You are my God, and I will trust You

God, I'm longing for the day to come
When this cloudy glass I'm looking through
Is shattered in a million pieces
And finally I can just see You

God, You know I believe it's true
I know I will see You
But until the day I do

I will trust You, trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again

You are my God, and I'll trust You
And with every breath I take
And for every day that breaks
I will trust You
I will trust You
And when nothing is making sense
Even then I will say again

God, I trust You
I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own

So I will trust You, trust You
I trust You, God, I do
Even when I can't see the end
And I will trust You
I will trust You, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again

I will trust You, I will trust You, I will
I know Your heart is good,
Your love is strong,
Your plans for me are better than my own
Yeah, Your heart is good
Your love is strong
Your plans for me are better than my own
And I trust You
You are my God
And I will trust You


© Steven Curtis Chapman

Trusting Him to help me through this pain...


P.S. If you want to listen to "I Will Trust You," you can do so here!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Grace Undeserved

Today I experienced a measure of God’s undeserved grace that really shook me up – so much so that every time I think about it, it still freaks me out.

As I was driving to school today I ended up behind a really slow driver and decided to change lanes. Unfortunately, I did so without looking to see if anyone was already in that lane, so you can imagine my surprise when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a red car about two feet behind me. I was stunned, especially since changing lanes without looking isn’t something I normally do. I was also extremely grateful that I didn’t hit the guy; not so much because of the damage it would have done to my car but because of the fact that I didn’t injure him. And that’s when I realized that I had truly just experienced a moment of God’s undeserved grace … TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNDESERVED GRACE!

You see the truth of the matter is that I deserved to hit him. Now don’t misunderstand me. He didn’t deserve to be hit, but because of my carelessness I deserved whatever would have happened to me had I hit him. So I’m truly amazed by the fact that in that particular moment in time, God chose to rescue me, since I did absolutely nothing to deserve His grace. Not then, not ever.

“Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me …” (Ephesians 3:8a)

Thank you, Father, for loving me far more than I deserve or will ever possibly understand.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Great Book to Check Out!

Just finished reading Dave Sterrett's book, "Why Trust Jesus." I highly recommend it!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Faithful

One of my absolute favorite musicians on the planet is Steven Curtis Chapman (SCC). His heart for God and his ability to portray real life through his music is beyond compare … at least in how it speaks to me.

Last Fall I spent quite a bit of time listening to his latest album, “Beauty Will Rise,” as I found it gave me a great deal of comfort for where I was in my life.

After receiving an email from someone yesterday in which I was given some bad news around my business, I realized that I was actually scared because I have no answers as to exactly what it is that God is doing in my life right now.

Today I happened to put on SCC’s album again and one of the songs he wrote really spoke to me. Perhaps it will speak to you, as well:

Faithful

I am broken, I am bleeding
I’m scared and I’m confused
But You are faithful, yes, You are faithful

I am weary in believing
God please help my unbelief
‘Cause You are faithful, yes, You are faithful

I will proclaim it to the world
I will declare it to my heart
I’ll sing it when the sun is shining
I will scream it in the dark

You are faithful, You are faithful
When You give and when You take away
Even then still Your name is faithful
You are faithful
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful

I am waiting for the rescue
That I know is sure to come
‘Cause You are faithful, yes, You are faithful
And I’ve dropped anchor in Your promises and I am holding on
“Cause You are faithful, God, You are faithful

I will proclaim it to the world
I will declare it to my heart
I will sing it when the sun is shining
I will scream it in the dark

You are faithful, You are faithful
When You give and when You take away
Even then still Your name is faithful
You are faithful
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful

When I cannot have the answer
That I’m wanting to demand
I’ll remember You are God
And everything is in Your hands
With Your hands You put the sun and moon and stars up in the sky
For the sake of love You hung Your own Son on the cross to die

And You are faithful,
Yes, You are faithful
When You give, when You take away even then
Great is Your faithfulness
Great is Your faithfulness
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You’re faithful


© Steven Curtis Chapman

I would like to tell you that after listening to this song, I was no longer scared, but that would be a lie. Yes, I do have more peace than I did last night. However, I am still very scared.

In the short (written) introduction to the song, Steven talks about one of the Bible verses that had been particularly important to him around God’s faithfulness. Here’s the verse he refers to:

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’ The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:21-26 ESV)

This struggle with my business has been going on for more than a year now, and honestly, I am very tired and hanging on by a thread these days. However, I am grateful that my faith in Him is stronger this week, than it was last week, and I am hopeful that next week it will be stronger than it is this week.

So for now, as SCC wrote above, this is my prayer …

And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful



P.S. If you want to listen to "Faithful," you can do so here!