Morning By Morning

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your Faithfulness.
~ Lamentations 3:22-23

Rough day today, Lord, and so desperately in need of Your mercy right now . . .
✞

Called to Compassion

Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them,
Because they were distressed and dispirited
Like sheep without a shepherd.
~ Matthew 9:36

Jesus Christ was a man with a mission.

He was also a man who had compassion for others.

That is why I am finding a recent conversation with a friend from church to (still) be so distressing. In fact, I was so angry after our last conversation that I was shaking when I got home.

Truth be told, this friendship has been nothing but taxing since it first began. However, things really came to a head (for me) the other morning when, during the course of discussing our plans for the rest of the day, my friend told me that they have no compassion for others and resented having to go help a friend of theirs later that day.

I was so stunned by my friend's comment that I probably looked like a deer caught in headlights -- especially since this person has been the recipient of nothing BUT endless help and compassion over the past year by friends, fellow believers and our entire pastoral staff! In fact, I am not sure if I even responded to that comment before my friend went on to say that this past year has been the worst year of their life (and the lives of family members), and that they (basically) had to learn to suck it up and deal with it all by themselves in order to survive, so everyone else should have to learn to survive on their own, as well! Huh ...

The funny thing is that once my friend made that comment about not having compassion for others, I was able to get some perspective about a previous conversation we had had more than a year ago. While I do not trust others easily, I thought I would try (yet again) to open myself up to this person, in the hopes of cultivating our friendship. When I did, however, there was absolutely no compassion expressed during that conversation. At first, I could not put my finger on what it was that bothered me so much, but now I have complete clarity!

There's an old saying that goes something like this: When people tell you who they are, believe them.

Hindsight being 20/20, time and time again this has proven to be true. However, I do have to say one thing about this relationship. While this person has continually shown that they have no compassion for others, and that they are completely self-centered and self-obsessed, God has graciously used this relationship to reveal situations in my own life that need to be addressed!

And, while lack of compassion and total self-centeredness are not the issues at hand, He has certainly used the character traits I am continually observing in my friend to show me how certain behaviors in my own life are keeping me stuck exactly where I am.

The whole purpose for starting this blog was to help me work through the challenges I was having in trying to understand the sovereignty of God -- especially in relationship to the abuse that He allowed me to suffer. Gratefully, this blog has also provided me with a platform to process all of my other thoughts and questions regarding the concept of His complete and total Sovereignty ... Period!

So, as I have thought through this particular relationship over the last several days, I am actually grateful He brought it into my life, because I now have a much clearer picture of some of the changes I need to make in my own life. That is not to say they will be easy changes to make, as years of ingrained thoughts and behaviors need to be changed. Nonetheless, however, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for loving me enough to show me these things!

And, as far as my friendship with this friend goes, I am not sure what happens next. I really need to take a break from our relationship. In fact, because this relationship has been so toxic and so draining for so long, I actually had to have a conversation with my pastor about it quite a while ago, just to get a biblical perspective on how to handle it. Funny enough, it was during that conversation that I found out how much help and compassion was being extended to my friend, because he told me it was okay to take a break, as there were plenty of other people taking care of my friend, and loving and supporting them through this difficult time in their life! Unfortunately, circumstances are such that the kind of break I desire is not actually possible.

So for now, I must rest in this truth ...

The Lord is my portion ...
Therefore I have hope in Him.
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, 
To the person who seeks Him.
~Lamentations 3:24-25  

Praying that God will continue to strengthen my compassion for others. Also praying that He will help my friend recognize and be grateful for the grace and compassion they have received from others over the past year, so that they can now extend that same grace and compassion to others in the years to come ...

The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
Great is Your faithfulness.
~Lamentations 3:22-23  

✞

Faithful

One of my absolute favorite musicians on the planet is Steven Curtis Chapman (SCC). His heart for God and his ability to portray real life through his music is beyond compare … at least in how it speaks to me.

Last Fall I spent quite a bit of time listening to his latest album, “Beauty Will Rise,” as I found it gave me a great deal of comfort for where I was in my life.

After receiving an email from someone yesterday in which I was given some bad news around my business, I realized that I was actually scared because I have no answers as to exactly what it is that God is doing in my life right now.

Today I happened to put on SCC’s album again and one of the songs he wrote really spoke to me. Perhaps it will speak to you, as well:

Faithful

I am broken, I am bleeding
I’m scared and I’m confused
But You are faithful, yes, You are faithful

I am weary in believing
God please help my unbelief
‘Cause You are faithful, yes, You are faithful

I will proclaim it to the world
I will declare it to my heart
I’ll sing it when the sun is shining
I will scream it in the dark

You are faithful, You are faithful
When You give and when You take away
Even then still Your name is faithful
You are faithful
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful

I am waiting for the rescue
That I know is sure to come
‘Cause You are faithful, yes, You are faithful
And I’ve dropped anchor in Your promises and I am holding on
“Cause You are faithful, God, You are faithful

I will proclaim it to the world
I will declare it to my heart
I will sing it when the sun is shining
I will scream it in the dark

You are faithful, You are faithful
When You give and when You take away
Even then still Your name is faithful
You are faithful
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful

When I cannot have the answer
That I’m wanting to demand
I’ll remember You are God
And everything is in Your hands
With Your hands You put the sun and moon and stars up in the sky
For the sake of love You hung Your own Son on the cross to die

And You are faithful,
Yes, You are faithful
When You give, when You take away even then
Great is Your faithfulness
Great is Your faithfulness
And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You’re faithful

© Steven Curtis Chapman

I would like to tell you that after listening to this song, I was no longer scared, but that would be a lie. Yes, I do have more peace than I did last night. However, I am still very scared.

In the short (written) introduction to the song, Steven talks about one of the Bible verses that had been particularly important to him around God’s faithfulness. Here’s the verse he refers to:

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’ The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:21-26 ESV)

This struggle with my business has been going on for more than a year now, and honestly, I am very tired and hanging on by a thread these days. However, I am grateful that my faith in Him is stronger this week, than it was last week, and I am hopeful that next week it will be stronger than it is this week.

So for now, as SCC wrote above, this is my prayer …

And with everything inside of me
I am choosing to believe
You are faithful
✞

P.S. If you want to listen to "Faithful," you can do so here!