Morning By Morning

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your Faithfulness.
~ Lamentations 3:22-23

Rough day today, Lord, and so desperately in need of Your mercy right now . . .
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Today's Prayer ...

O Father, please help me! I feel so sick right now ...

In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
~ Psalm18:6

Please hear my cry right now and help me to continue to surrender to Your will, even during this overwhelming struggle with my health ...
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Can I Pout Now?

Can I let you in on a little secret? I just realized that when it comes to my relationship with God, I am really a little brat sometimes ... and I had absolutely no idea!

In fact, it wasn't until this morning, while reading a book entitled Healing the Past God's Way, that I realized just how I often expect God to do things my way and to see things from my infinitesimally small point of view! O, Father, please forgive me!

Here is the excerpt from the book which so poignantly woke me up to this fact (at least for today):

We are inundated with conversations and lessons about our rights as citizens, as human beings ... But here is the thing, when I stand before God, I have no rights. I have no authority to demand that He act or behave in any manner that is contrary to His own. God doesn't answer to me.

Darn it all, anyway! 

You would think I'd be a littler quicker on the uptake, thinking I could tell God how my life should go, considering in His Word He (basically) already gave me a heads-up about the fact that nothing I tell Him is a surprise!

O, Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.
~ Psalm 139:1-4

Hello??? Wake up, Sharon ... He's already on to you! But apparently you're a little slow to catch on, because more often than not, this is the verse that seems to better describe you:

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.
~ Proverbs 16:9

I am sure there are many, many days when God sits on His throne in Heaven and just laughs and laughs and laughs, as I go about making my little plans and expecting Him to oblige my every whim and desire. Silly girl! If I was paying closer attention, I would remember these words ...

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways ...
~ Psalm 55:8

And these, as well:

Our God is in Heaven;
He does whatever He pleases.
~ Psalm 115:3 

So as I head into tomorrow, here is what I hope I can remember (also from Healing the Past God's Way):

Embracing in word and in deed, God's ownership over all the earth, including me, brings me to a place of balance in my relationship with God. God owns; I use that which He lends to me ... God plans; I live out those plans in circumstances, in consequences for my sin, in His eternal design ... God acts and gives and allows and chooses and when I understand His sovereignty, I stop swimming up stream and work with Him to accomplish His good purposes.

Amen, Lord. Amen ...

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Back at My Heart

Today's Prayer ...
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Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That's me
Tragically always together 
But bruised underneath
That's me
I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me, take me apart
Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, Lord, please make me whole
You know just where to start
Back at my heart, back at my heart

Patiently waiting 
To pick up the pieces of me
That's You
Healer of hearts
When the world leaves it broken in two
That's You
Maker of Heaven
The sky and the sea
When You stretched your arms
You reached for me, You reached for me

Meanwhile back at my heart
I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me, and take me apart
Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, Lord, please make me whole
You know just where to start

Back at my heart
Back at my fear
Back at my brokenness
Lord meet me here
And though I'm exposed 
I'm not afraid anymore

I'm desperate for all that You are
Undo me and take me apart

Meanwhile back at my soul
Mend me, Lord, please make me whole
You know just where to start
Back at my heart, back at my heart
Back at my heart, back at my heart

Healer of hearts
When the world leaves it broken in two

That's You  

© Natalie Grant

Listen to the entire song here!

The Will of God

As I find myself coming to terms with the fact that "recovery" is proving to be far more difficult than "realization," I am really struggling to believe this right now ...

The will of God will never take you, where the grace of God cannot keep you, where the arms of God cannot support you, where the riches of God cannot supply your needs, where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you, where the Spirit of God cannot work through you, where the wisdom of God cannot teach you, where the army of God cannot protect you, where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you, where the love of God cannot enfold you, where the mercies of God cannot sustain you, where the peace of God cannot calm your fears, where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you, where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears, where the Word of God cannot feed you, where the miracles of God cannot be done for you, where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.
 
– Author Unknown

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Enclosed

You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

~ Psalm 139:5

As I was reading through Psalm 139 this morning, this verse really struck a chord with me. The study notes in my Bible had this to say about it:

 “God used circumstances to limit David’s actions.”

Isn’t that great! In order to keep David from (possibly) doing something stupid (for which he would later suffer the consequences) or something that would disgrace his Lord (like his bad, bad decision to get involved with Bathsheba), God actually brought a set of circumstances into David’s life that [basically] kept his hands tied.

I have a confession to make: Not once have I ever viewed the circumstances in my life as God’s way of limiting my actions. Far from it! But, perhaps it is time to start doing so ... 

Let’s face it: As human beings, we have an enormous capacity to mess up our lives in big and small ways. And then, when the consequences of those [bad] decisions begin to show up, we wonder why! 

For most of the past 4 years, I have been in constant pain. Truth be told, I actually cannot even remember what it is like to be pain-free. Personally, I do hope that one day – in this lifetime – I will have the opportunity to experience complete, total, and pain-free movement in my body … but [apparently] today is not that day!

So while I do not understand the circumstances (of constant pain) that God has allowed into my life, I am trusting that He is using them – even now – to keep me exactly where He wants me to be, in order to accomplish what He wants to accomplish in my life.

What about you? Are you fighting the circumstances of your life – whatever they may be? Or are you willing to accept them, trusting that God is using them in your life to limit your own actions – and perhaps even protect you – just as he did in the life of His servant, David?

Most Holy Father, thank You for always looking out for us, even when we choose not to look out for ourselves! Thank You for bringing people and circumstances into our lives, in order to limit our actions and keep us from making [yet] one more mistake or bad decision that does not glorify You. And, most importantly, thank You for loving us in spite of ourselves! Be glorified in our lives, both now and forevermore.

✞

The Lord will accomplish what concerns me;

Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting;

Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

~ Psalm 138:8

Rescue Me

Thinking about tomorrow's pool workout and feeling sick to my stomach even now ...

O God, do not be far from me;
O my God, hasten to my help!
~ Psalm 71:10

Amen and amen,

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Walking on Water

You who have shown me many troubles and distresses will revive me again, and will bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

~ Psalm 71:20

When I first started this blog, Pandora’s box had just exploded open in my life and I was struggling to get a foothold as everything I knew about my life and my faith in God was being turned upside down and inside out.  

Every day was a struggle just to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. To say I was in survival mode was an understatement. 

I could not eat. 

I could not sleep. 

Most days I could barely even breathe. 

So it is with a heavy heart that I find myself in distress once again, as I now deal with the physical realities (i.e. the physical aftermath) of my past.  

Three years ago, during a visit to my chiropractor here in Montana, I was told that my hips were completely locked up, so I began regular chiropractic treatments with the understanding that this doctor could unlock my hips and bring me back to physical health. Chiropractic care had always worked for me when I lived in Los Angeles, so I had no reason to think that it would not work this time, as well.  

Unfortunately, that has not been the case and my condition is now far worse than it was three years ago. Yet when the doctor and I met the other day, he explained to me that there was no medical evidence to support these hip and pelvic problems. Yesterday, however, I discovered that I based upon how locked up my pelvis and hips actually are, the fact that I can even walk right now is only due to God’s amazing grace!  

So as I was getting ready to workout in the pool yesterday morning, I had two revelations: (1) Three years later, the pool still terrifies me, and (2) I am slowly coming to the realization that perhaps working out in the pool is the one thing – if not the only thing – that is going to help me get some movement back into the lower half of my body. Yet, even with those revelations, getting ready to go swimming was both a mental and physical battle. In fact, even now (while writing this from the safety of my own living room), I get sick to my stomach every time I begin to think about any kind of pool workout. 

I hate the swimming pool. Not because I am afraid of the water, but rather because swimming brings to the surface memories of abuse and the baggage that goes along with those memories. Ironically, at the same time I actually love the pool because it is when I am alone in the water that I also feel the most free!  

Oh, Lord, I know that everything which takes place in our lives is for our good and Your glory, and is part of Your sovereign plan. Therefore …

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation … The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people.

~ Psalm 68:19,35

Father, even now, I pray that You will give me the strength and the power to simply get through this moment.

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Food for Thought

I'm working through a Bible study entitled "Discerning the Voice of God," by Priscilla Shirer, and love this thought from today's reading:

"Faith is the channel of living trust that allows us to experience God in our everyday lives. He is looking for someone who believes He is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do. Go to God expecting to hear His voice, and don't hesitate to move forward in obedience. When you obey, you move from your agenda to His, and God's plan is always greater."

I am so grateful to God for bringing two people into my life who have impacted my walk with Him in ways I can never explain: one who showed me what a relationship with Christ truly looks like, and the other who walked with me and helped me find my way back to Him. I am, and always will be, grateful beyond words ...

"For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory."
(Proverbs 24:6)

Thank You, Lord, for showing me the truth of who You are through the faithfulness of these servants. Please bless each of them, as well as their ministries and their families, and may they continue to choose to be open vessels through which You work, through which Your will is done, and through which Your glory shines!

In Christ's name I pray ...
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Grace Undeserved

Today I experienced a measure of God’s undeserved grace that really shook me up – so much so that every time I think about it, it still freaks me out.

As I was driving to school today I ended up behind a really slow driver and decided to change lanes. Unfortunately, I did so without looking to see if anyone was already in that lane, so you can imagine my surprise when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a red car about two feet behind me. I was stunned, especially since changing lanes without looking isn’t something I normally do. I was also extremely grateful that I didn’t hit the guy; not so much because of the damage it would have done to my car but because of the fact that I didn’t injure him. And that’s when I realized that I had truly just experienced a moment of God’s undeserved grace … TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNDESERVED GRACE!

You see the truth of the matter is that I deserved to hit him. Now don’t misunderstand me. He didn’t deserve to be hit, but because of my carelessness I deserved whatever would have happened to me had I hit him. So I’m truly amazed by the fact that in that particular moment in time, God chose to rescue me, since I did absolutely nothing to deserve His grace. Not then, not ever.

“Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me …” (Ephesians 3:8a)

Thank you, Father, for loving me far more than I deserve or will ever possibly understand.
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