For someone who is a professional life coach, and who is pursing a master’s degree in biblical counseling, I couldn’t coach – much less counsel – my way out of a paper bag right now! :D
I wasn’t expecting a marriage proposal! But, I wasn’t expecting the cold shoulder, either, which is pretty much what I received from someone today … right after they were as warm as molasses to the person with whom they interacted right before me.
Two of my biggest struggles in life have been trusting God and trusting others. So when a day like today happens, in which someone I have come to trust explicitly pushes me away (and has done so for about 8 months now), and because this has happened a handful of other times in my life with people I have come to completely trust, and who have hurt me so deeply, it becomes very easy for me to retreat and withdraw from the world.
“Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” (Psalm 66:20)
Matthew 18:15-17 talks about the fact that if someone sins against you, you should go and talk to them, which makes me wonder: “what exactly did I do, and how exactly did I sin against them,” to warrant such a cold shoulder? Do I need to go and talk to them? Do they need to come and speak with me?
Truthfully, this whole situation hurts. A great deal. And, honestly, it makes me want to go and worship somewhere else because it would make my life a lot easier and a lot less painful – especially because I know that this person is not going anywhere.
I started this blog to help me learn to trust in “His Sovereign Purpose” in my life on a daily basis. So while I pour out my heart to God about this, I also know that He knows why this is happening, and what the outcome of it will be – for all parties involved.
“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him … Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him, God is a refuge for us.” (Psalm 62:5,8)
In the meantime, I hope that I can just let go and trust Him to do what He needs to do – in this situation and in my life – in order to conform me into the image of His Son, no matter how much it hurts. And it really hurts a lot right now!